Categories
Stories

GIRL MEETS MALAISE: An open letter to a relationship-seeker

Check it out:

Liz Chandler wrote in this space that she needed to know what she wanted from her boyfriend, Tommy. She wrote that she was in between relationships and that she felt like she wasn’t able to relate to guys she met online.

She was actually searching for the same types of expectations she had in the past in relationships, so she could build on them. What she found was a love of and respect for travel, and her email turned into a dating site where people with similar experiences could meet for coffee.

Liz’s stories were originally featured on my web site, and now, they’re featured in this blog, where they’re updated regularly.

If you are considering giving it a try, let us know in the comments below.

Liz writes about the relationships that have helped her build the confidence to step into the dating world:

While going through trials and tribulations with some of the guys I dated online, I looked back and realized that those relationships were the ones that gave me the confidence to step out into the real world. I am the same person that I was before, and despite the trials I faced, I still am responsible for my actions, and sometimes things don’t always work out. When you have a positive attitude and realize that you can move on from anything, that is the one thing that will allow you to move forward.

If you or a friend would like to write in to share your relationship advice, post it in the comments and be sure to include as much of the story as possible.

How are you doing with love? Tell us in the comments below.

Categories
Stories

Margaret Antoszek, psychologist, on relationships

BODY MATERIALS

“Benjamin is unable to form a consistent inner relationship with the notion of trust. He finds himself isolated by an ongoing conflict with himself. While this behavior is serious, what is surprising is that he is the only one who is aware of his relationships shortcomings. When faced with this conflict, Ben’s dialogue regarding his inner lives is severely reduced.

“Paul is unable to connect his external and internal thoughts. The true intent of his actions is unclear to him, leaving him a confused, anxious, self-conscious, and controlling teenager who never truly intended for the actions that he engages in to serve his own needs. His anxious energy manifests itself in threatening and erratic behavior.

“Each of these problems is the result of a contrived image of an always present self. Under this vision there is no doubt of who and what is true. However, because the interaction with this inner self is so limited, the deceptions of external relationships can, and do, become entangled in the confines of an unchangeable self-image. And the most interesting questions would be: Why is there ever any lasting allegiance to a contrived inner self? And, if at all possible, how do we learn to cut through the illusions of self-perception that are placed within our clutches?

“Mikhael has such limited emotional response in response to anyone – which enables him to control the entirety of his interactions with an individual. And Mikhael is the only one to notice this behavior. Mikhael’s childlike conduct, free from any necessary emotional life, allows him to divert attention from his actions to the person and action that he perceives as the source of his stress. This explains Mikhael’s stability in the midst of difficult relationships. However, because Mikhael feels no obligation to appropriately resolve emotional stress caused by his actions, he finds himself isolated as he is unable to admit he is unable to resolve any of the interpersonal problems caused by his actions.

“Perhaps these topics help to explain why so many of us reach out for the comfort of an anonymous connection. We crave as much comfort as we can get, which is why social media is so popular these days. The openness of this kind of communication has encouraged people to walk in solitude, allowing them to extend an anonymous blanket of emotional safety. However, the comfort of an anonymous connection has eventually led to the faceless behavior of communication that afflicts us.”

Follow Margaret on her official website or Facebook, sign up for the weekly newsletter, contact her at [email protected], or you can text her at 855-589-6187. Subscribe to the newsletter for the best chat service! To increase your exposure to Margaret’s outreach program, register at http://urbancontacts.net/co….

Margaret Antoszek is a marriage and family therapist and author of over 30 books. Her newest book, “Dear Bridget: How to Rethink Your Relationship,” is a practical guide that illustrates the importance of you, you and you and offers helpful suggestions for handling challenges that impede your ability to have healthy relationships. She is the founder of Barb’s Wellness Clinic in Tampa, Fla. For more information, visit www.margaretantoszek.com.

Categories
Stories

Orange Grove: How unruthful is a dating app named ‘Love Awake’?

The dating app for people who don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend – called, with all the interest to thimself, “Love Awake” – is now the subject of a rigorous, ironic criticism. The point of the policy is to weed out both obvious and not-so-obvious creeps from the app.

But someone fell through the cracks, which is kind of hilarious. He was actually the guy who, having never had a girlfriend, signed up for Love Awake with his own nickname – LA.

This person should take advice from the management of Apple Watch store Genius Bar to never use “LA” at the end of your name.

Which reveals a dimwitted approach to human interaction, among other things, not to mention the opposite Sex Offender Registry.

I spent $10 for this dating app and have been assured of the safety of the dudes who sign up with their own nicknames – while providing no such assurances for the ladies. Sounds like Love Awake should never have been created.

Because of the presence of women in corporate life who use their girlfriends’ names, they have found it a challenge to focus on the female members of this adored online dating and the frustrations they face.

There are so many angry, unhappy couples among men who go on dates who don’t immediately acknowledge how disappointed and hurt and angry they feel – from guys who go on dates with women they see when they play Ultimate Frisbee or go on business trips.

Love Awake is designed to appease some of these guys – but in the long run, apparently, these women are likely to be heard complaining of lack of attention at home and on business trips.

And to think I was paying $10 a month just for that peace of mind.

Categories
Stories

Start dating! Let Science!

It has been what seems like a lifetime since those feeling the emotion of unrequited love screamed in your ear, “THIS HAPPENED, THIS HAPPENED!” I have been missing those moments. Some of us get by with one.

How do we save time and energy? How do we decide if something is “love”?

Science suggests we decide on love at will. While this may seem logical, other books suggest that love is not a linear relationship but has its own unique life cycle. Others maintain that love is completely free choice and purpose. Other things like compatibility, reliability, love, friendship and communication are all factors that contribute.

In her book, Love, in Repetition, Claire Lawrence writes about a relationship timeline. She suggests:

1901:

The end of the Industrial Revolution and transformation into a society based on scientific inquiry. Men began to have professions such as medicine, mechanics, and mechanics to serve as an alternative to continuing to read; en masse, they began attending church services and concerts and matriculating through local social programs, such as dance clubs, social clubs, and open societies.

1905:

As engineers, mathematicians, and English literature professors began to argue that reading and teaching in schools were not the best training for children, schools, as well as parents, began to offer home school and even home environment programs for students.

1908:

Computers began to appear. Computers started to occupy space, and a few years after the beginning of the 20th century, the government came up with the National Education Act to form the first formal system of public education in the United States.

1909:

The Rolling Stones released their first single. The Little Princess song found a market of fans enchanted by the bouncy rhythms and heart pounding sound of a semi-high pitched male voice crooning the lyrics of a lullaby about a baby walking down the street in a flowery dress.

1909:

Korean nationalism was progressing and the Korean People’s Army, along with American scientists, were working together in Korea for research on constructing railways, generating electricity and inventing hybrid cars. The underground movement for the outlawed, racially segregated groups, African American People’s League (APL) and the British Empire People’s Labor Party, was becoming more political as the economy felt a major decline after the first world war.

1910:

Professor Eugene Scott started the Ku Klux Klan (KKK) in Georgia.

1910:

Thomas Edison created the first practical practical lightning rod. He tinkered with the construction of a parabolic mirror so that it could concentrate light from an unused source behind it.

1911:

Frederick Somerville, a founder of Transcendental Meditation, proposed its benefits in five minutes a day.

1913:

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote the “North Star” poem for the second half of his life. When talking about a mythical cosmic force, he used a quote attributed to Christina Rossetti: “Christina Rossetti read a lot of North Star, she had such faith and hope.”

1923:

Little Bill joined Blackjack Cards and got into financial trouble with his gambling. The police finally rescued him and he went to jail for two weeks.

1920:

Sigmund Freud and Anna Freud came to Boston and practiced their yet to be approved therapy methods.

1927:

The Last Spike was invented. Theodore Geisel invented the motorized course, where one moves from pole to pole.

1927:

The Egyptian scientist Marius Copertino published his theory of gas transport along the Nile, which led to transportation of petroleum by steam engine.

1929:

The Rhenish mathematician Beatrice Doyle discovered the invention of cable assembly, which ultimately led to the development of cable television.

1945:

The Wright Brothers graduated from the National Academy of Engineering, became nationally known for the discovery of how an airplane could be made with a single runway and an intact wing.

(Science-Pop has written a series on love. To view more of their views, visit www.rss.app)

A difference in opinion is not a judgment. The views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher.

(c)2019 Love in Revolutions Media Group.

Categories
Stories

6 ways to deal with a spouse being sick

Here’s some truly compelling research from the Mayo Clinic on the most effective ways to cope with illness in your relationship.

You can learn more here: http://blog.mayoclinic.org/…

Granted that’s probably easier said than done given our short attention spans and our impatience to get out of the house.

But whether or not it is your spouse who is sick, it’s just as important that you’re both doing just fine. Right?

Here are some effective ways to effectively deal with illness in your relationship:

Be at least moderately aware of the illness and illness-related concerns that are bothering you. Consider a journal to facilitate these discussions. Beware of unspoken assumptions and assumptions that may cause undue stress, argue about trivial issues and conflict. If you’re trying to have a healthy conversation about the illness, you should avoid oversimplifying the illness and seeking to make a superficial diagnosis. Understand that you both feel profoundly guilty when the person around you is sick. You feel guilty for getting sick, but also for feeling that you’re responsible for the illness. Prioritize your wellbeing as your top priority. It is simply wrong to be neglectful of your health. This means doing what you can without feeling guilty about being social. When you’re feeling guilty, spend as much time as you can with friends, family or even a “friend” from work. Be communicative in lieu of non-communicative. For example, look for opportunities to participate in routine activities (for example, watching a game with your spouse) and get up from your seat during an exam to a quieter location. When you’re feeling really sick, don’t go to work. If you have to go, take your power of decision away from an X-ray or MRI, ask yourself what you’re comfortable with. This is why communicating with your spouse is so important. Sit down with a few friends (if only for an hour) and tell them what you’re going through.

If you’re in the midst of an emotional response to something, it may not be the right time to send emails or texts to a co-worker. Be sure that you’re talking to your spouse and explaining what’s going on for yourself and how your focus will change while you’re ill. Give up your goals. Trying to follow a goal to lose weight and exercise more is a sure way to make the sickness worse. Instead, find something you enjoy to keep you busy.

If you’re close to someone who is sick, avoid unnecessary contact and excessive conversations. You might even consider bringing food to share with them or doing chores around the house instead of sending text messages.

Categories
Stories

Not only does forgiveness enhance our lives, it creates healing

Not only is forgiveness a part of developing mature consciousness but it is also essential in healing from personal and relational wounds from both past experiences and present situations.

“Forgiveness is like a way of healing. When you forgive, all wounds are healed. It provides the inner strength and the self-awareness to set the foundations of your life. You can learn to forgive and become a healthy person who may well heal someone else,” said William Howard Taft, a bio-neuroscientist and author of the bestselling book, “Crazy Like a Fox: A Scientific Exploration of the Human Essence.”

What are some of the most common reason we suffer and seek forgiveness?

In the last two weeks I mentioned forgiveness of past mistakes, and it has been common for people to ask me, “What is forgiveness about? What are the benefits of forgiving myself?”

In following eight steps I offer my simple way of forgiveness.

1. Apologize. Apologize first to the person you screwed up. Making amends and apologizing first is a great starting point because it starts a process.

It gives you the chance to get some true reflections from your past mistakes. “When we apologize for what we have done we can stop our ego and get into the real. Real” describes being able to let go of things. Getting in touch with one’s own feelings is another process when you make amends.

2. Grieve. In self-blame forgiveness, getting rid of our inner ego is the first thing. We have all hurt others and acted badly. The wounded child has anger and resentment for other people. When you come to forgive you stop acting out and releasing more guilt.

3. Ask for help. The person in your past, whether he or she is still with you or is no longer in your life will need a lot of help as much as you do. Don’t isolate or attempt to solve the problem alone. Ask for help from others. You can talk with a friend, but it is a lot easier if you seek help from a professional.

4. Make a decision. Ask yourself if you really want to forgive yourself. You can, and it is not selfishness to want to forgive yourself. If you need to know that you want to forgive yourself, seek help from a professional.

5. Be okay with yourself. It is good to be okay with yourself. Being sorry is a choice. Looking forward to something positive instead of “what a bummer” is forgiveness in action. Notice the difficulty, but focus on the positive.

“Forgiving yourself always comes after you’ve dealt with the shame of hurting someone else,” Mr. Taft said.

6. Get a plan. At first it may take a couple of months to get the plan together. Have a plan for who needs to be forgiven, how you plan to get through it, what kind of help you will seek and what is acceptable for the person whom you hurt.

7. Don’t give up. Resolve to forgive again, and you will find it in yourself to forgive again.

8. You can’t stop. It never ends. In the end forgiveness will be your way of repairing the relationships you’ve damaged in the past. The process, and the results are beautiful!

“You can forgive yourself for the things you said or did yesterday, and always later in life. You can forgive, as hard as it seems to forgive yourself, and you will feel much better about the world you live in and your own life.

“Forgiveness is a process. In the early stages of practice you are not going to be able to forgive a number of things you’ve done. You are going to have to learn to forgive yourself over and over and over again. You are going to have to learn that forgiving others, and healing your wounds, is part of a process of being healthy. Forgiveness is easy when you don’t have your whole life to recover from. If you are repeating the same mistakes, things are not easy for you.” — William Howard Taft

Susan Hutchison is an award-winning journalist, best-selling author, public speaker and blogger. Follow her on Twitter @riuhutch.

Categories
Stories

Your Illuminator’s favorite love affairs

Whenever I sit down to read a friend’s web page, I find a need for you guys to comment under my article, even though most of the time it’s just the subject who leaves a comment and you guys just sit there and let me know that you missed something important.

Here’s an example of a blurb that is being received very positively by our readers. It was only five years ago that I was just 17-years-old. I was a very serious teenager who didn’t even show affection until I was 15 and that had everything to do with rejection… this particular blog by Thomas John Hearn describes him as “an easy-going, romantic, and endearing, pretty boy who had trouble committing.” Hearn includes many pictures and his story is so easy to relate to that readers often ignore the invasive and embarrassing pictures.

But it gets better. He then writes, “Ok, so I ended up meeting Victoria at my age. At first, we didn’t have a romantic relationship, but she did take me out a couple of times. And that’s when the real thing started.” The blog describes him as a successful professor, CEO, and author of the books The Power Of Information and The Power Of My Dreams. But he now rules every woman’s dating market with a vampy, evil, sexy, and feminine allure. Now I know many will disagree with my opinion on how to possess the vibe that gets you dates, not dumped, but I do give him credit for never having been dumped.

Categories
Stories

New Year’s Gala to Celebrate the Year of Love

The February 2012 launch of A.D. 665.5 marked the beginning of the present century with a calendar-wide illumination of the world’s clocks. Reflecting this date, an international group of scientists and astronomers has adopted a new ritual: sharing the month’s science via a quarterly journal that will publish the latest data and findings – stories about telescopes, theories, and observations of the cosmos – in the hopes of better understanding not only the future, but also the past.

“At this moment, we are at the dawn of a new century, a new time, and a new era in science,” says Stephen Smoger, one of the journal’s editors. “We see ourselves as an echo chamber for cosmic discoveries – similar to what a cathedral or church would be like in the next millennium – and we hope to help bring out the best about humanity in these first months.”

Historically, A.D. 665.5 has been interpreted as the year that all-star composer Johann Sebastian Bach died. For those able to ignore conspiracy theories about the reclusive harpsichord master’s demise, a similar celebration is occurring in the pages of the December 2018 issue of Love Awake, a new monthly journal that will provide “the greatest and most recent discoveries and events in the universe” between now and the year 2049.

Collectively, the magazine’s first four issues will document the ongoing discoveries of the cosmos. A top priority, according to the journal’s editors, is keeping up with the most recent observations of the fundamental law of cosmic motion, Newton’s seventh law of motion: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. These demonstrations of the force come in the form of galaxy clusters, galaxy supernovae, and quasars. Additionally, exciting results from studies of the type III black hole are set to join Love Awake’s 30-year-old discoveries.

Love Awake will feature six new articles and three archived articles in its first issue. The guest editor, renowned science writer Renée Montagu, will conduct a series of facilitated discussions around the issue. Many of Love Awake’s articles will be accompanied by illustrations, drawings, diagrams, and videos.

Join Love Awake’s editorial team on its first New Year’s Eve party – the journal’s fifth New Year’s Eve party. All of the articles will be available to read, live or archived, all night long, for those who can’t join the publisher’s revelry.

Information about Love Awake and how to become a collector, contributor, reviewer, or featured artist can be found at www.loveawake.com. For more information about Love Awake, or to purchase the magazine, contact editor Björn Andersson at [email protected] or 1-478-249-9194.

Categories
Stories

Why It is Not All That Impresses I Am.

I am not a woman who lets herself get consumed by feelings. I have always felt as though that can be hurtful in relationships. I have learned to ignore what others say and focus on doing my part on my own as best I can.

Recently, however, I have begun to see the pattern in action. I see that people are often attracted to people who are good looking but believe that a person will be stupid to be with them because of their appearance.

I can’t help but think that this is what happens because of some kind of codependency that stems from childhood. It starts when the seed is planted early on, even before our young bones are strong enough to crawl out of our mouths. I can recall having a friend who would usually be there to make me laugh by way of discussing some situation over dinner. While this is usually a good time to have a laugh, sometimes I would be genuinely disappointed that she would be there to make me laugh and not treat me the way she did when we were younger. I’d see her with boys when she’d come home, something that at the time would really piss me off. She always claimed to think she was smarter than she really was, but I always believed that she was just that smart to avoid losing her youth. I don’t know whether it was my intellect, but even to myself I felt that there was some kind of codependency going on.

While I have been unable to pinpoint the exact source of this kind of relationship, I did learn some lessons from it that have opened me up to developing an opinion on it, especially in a situation where I am the only one that will get into a relationship with a well-looking partner.

Being open about the fact that she might not be all there has led to me having more interesting conversations with her. I have an experience that resonates more strongly with me than I have ever had before. It’s about the first time I put myself out there for a group of people and was accepted. It has made me realize how stupid I am for not seeing the possibilities and possibilities. It doesn’t take too long to open up a door with little effort. Just a little effort, plus a little patience. One day, there might be some sort of better opportunity and the best way to show them your confidence is by taking a risk and staying open to the potential in the situation. I realize that the odds aren’t necessarily in your favor, but life is a gamble. To win the lotto, you have to put your hand up and get it all over with. In your case, you may also have to let go and get your hopes up, as well.

There is a chemical imbalance that goes on in my head when I listen to the opinions of others about a potential partner. Sometimes I simply can’t relate and other times I understand where the opinions of others are coming from. We take a chance when we open up to someone we might not expect to meet. We all have our way of doing things and when we don’t we seem to lack confidence in our judgments.

When I first started seeing this woman, there were no doubts in my mind that I was choosing the right person, despite the advice I had from others to stay away. To this day, I can’t tell you why she is the woman that I am dating, except that I just knew her. I can honestly say that the experience with her has been rather amazing. The biggest reason I became so good at sitting through client discussions is because if I didn’t I would have lost my focus completely and become a troll like I was as a kid.

Categories
Stories

USNS Mercy, Meantime, Meantime, Love Awakes From A Coma!

We ALL have walked through the aisles of Toys “R” Us – maybe shoplifting a much-needed boomer-specific item here and there. Maybe the world of shopping is one that can bring back some of the sadness of our youth; the tendency to play what would be called “fast and loose with the rules”. “Bet we can blow it anyway”. Been there, done that. As a white-male American, you don’t have to be reminded that there was once a period of time when having the wrong footwear would result in a life-altering injury for those that aren’t as “special” as you. The way life happens as it now has to do for humans. This, for me is one thing that I appreciate about The Love Awake Blog.

What if one could possibly enter a digital bazaar with all of the madness and excitement of a mall – but with a very fine-tuned focus on getting things done for the needs of those that live here? Do you see what I’m on about here? Well, take a look at my post on the USNS Mercy, what some call “The Flying White Elephant”. It’s an Emergency Transport Facility which is something that was designed to transport patients in life threatening conditions. What this means is that there are patients who are willing to die a death not even calculated in their World Wide Web search so you can read about it here – there’s the mission. This is what they do for a living – they come to USNS Mercy.

So what is it about this ship and its mission that created this huge crossover between Love Awake and USNS Mercy, every now and then? You see, there was a note posted to Love Awake – not just one, but a whole basket of note boards; posting to Love Awake basically stated that the entire ship is in fact a hospital ship; after all, it’s designed for “seamen”. In other words, when this particular ship comes into Wilmington, it’s a place to come and get the care and attention you need.

This is a place that can help even the toughest of cases find a way out of their pain – a place that will fly a very special child to them for a little extra-special love and for adults on a walk of faith, a place that will provide you with a couple of spare spoons so you can put some warm spaghetti and meatballs on the dinner table. Plus, in the event you have a wound or sore area that is too infected to be patched up, a great place to go in need is USNS Mercy. Yes, I said the “Resting Nurse In Need” area, the one that the nurses aren’t even making a big deal about; the area where you simply go through the motions and basically just sit there. The “Excuse my Mass” area where there are nothing but vending machines that are basically good for one cup of coffee or a beer, the section that will tell you all of the necessary information, tell you that you’re available for any emergency treatment that you need and it’s there ready to make yourself available. There is a place like this in every location that USNS Mercy comes to, and all of this seems to be re-written in matter of fact verbiage that is supportive, warm and pampering when it comes to the caregivers. What these are so many things I have never read about or heard about in any others blog out there in the world. And it’s only three miles from here! Oh yeah, yeah, the general vicinity of where Love Awake is located is a short drive or more, and it’s close enough to learn about how to heal.

Categories
Stories

How do I find a date online? Top Dating Site Tips

Ok, here’s the clincher from today’s post on “Online Dating for Beginners”:

It’s all up to you, the hopeless romantics. How you do it is up to you, and that’s kind of terrifying to me at first. But I’m gonna tell you something here — I’ve done it! And I’m here to tell you if you too, can do it.

P.S. I’m still not trying to get used to all this since I’m in the early ‘90s. But I can tell you that it’s fun.

———

What’s the best way to find the right online date?

This is something you’ll have to determine for yourself, but below are some recommendations for tips on how to be the best person online.

To add to the post, here are my top picks for tips on dating online:

You should be online before you look for a date, because once you start looking, things may get a little out of hand.

–Use the same computer from beginning to end for all search engines, including various search engines and personalized results. Set up your email profile when you set up your personal profile, instead of doing it when you are first online.

–Don’t be ridiculous when it comes to following-up by “liking” Facebook or Twitter posts or posting comments to articles or conversations about you online. People don’t care. Other people may care if you can be bothered, and the people they care about shouldn’t be trying to find you.

–Be careful about using fake profiles, or taking advantage of someone on the forums of a place like Second Life. Don’t take advantage of vulnerable people or their desperation to find a live person.

–Set up safe times to make contact with other people — before you’re out late at night, or after midnight.

–Use the best type of dating site and apps for you:

–Mint (more about Mint later)

–grouper or Whisper (users have to answer questions)

–Nantucket (users who live on the island of Nantucket, MA

–OkCupid (users must be over 18)

–YouDo (men and women who, or were, employees of a company)

–Tinder (women can swipe to choose on men, and vice versa)

–OutNow (looking for like-minded people)

–For others:

–Oh Snap or Alla (two apps for keeping track of “heart” events and if/when people see them)

–Venture (allows users to “speak” on topics in real time via mobile apps)

–Sev_Date (send the date 30 or more text messages, reminders, and now photos)

–MakeRoom (if you want to build a community and connect with others using this app)

–Pitchfork (projects to jumpstart individuals with ideas)

–Spinster (giving a handout of women to date)

–FriendMe (women share their stories of being single, and men can read them)

–Lifesteal (sharing times and places you like to eat/see)

–Pickwick (share photos of the places you like to hang out in)

–Suffragette (women helping to make a difference in the world through their politics)

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Categories
Stories

Antigua: A special new way to get ready for a wedding

When we receive such wonderful music, we get so excited. And it is for us, in this case, because a favorite celebrity couple requested songs from their band’s album “Stone Cold Kids” for us to play at their big day!

While their wedding was in a suburb just east of San Diego, there was plenty of California involved in this romantic love tale! And, to make it extra “California-esque,” the bride was a professional surfer and the groom a former Marine.

Would we? A ring bearer has to do a crazy leap off a tree?

Despite the obvious demands from their band member that they do something huge, nothing came easily. The couple first went through a series of album requests for the ceremony and reception (email included) and, in addition to the couple, the rest of the band also emailed us – including the lead guitarist, dashing, tattooed Finn O’Connor.

Luckily the results were amazing! We had all of Stone Cold Kids’ (led by talented, charismatic singer Sam Herring and his pal bassist Henry Rollins) music programmed for the ceremony, the reception and in-between (we plugged some Jack Johnson’s “Pushing Through.”)

We added one more song as extra = Burn A Man Down. After the ceremony, after Sam performed his very heartfelt and full performance of this tune (his most personal song, with heartfelt, vocal scatting) we popped it on the loudspeaker and made a big public jump-off jump from our Tree to the Champagne Chateau Roof.

The wedding party was excited, the people watching from the Hotel would have stopped in their tracks in a moment, and, as Sam jumps off a tree, there were perfect steaming “bulls!” And it felt like extra awesome.

And did we mention also that Sam and Henry’s band performed at the show the whole time, just before us during a welcome segment? Well, the show was a lot of fun, followed by a rowdy party of dancing San Diegans – including our special guest, Alpine’s marvelous rockin’ band, the House Of Fathers!

Now, what will be the next pair of sexy weddings? Maybe Beyonce and Jay-Z, who will also get married in their favorite place, the Hamptons. But would that make our playlist even hotter? I doubt it.

Categories
Stories

Riot books getting married offers special

One website’s review of weddings goes beyond love.

Loveawake.com is a blog that reviews what people see, hear and do on wedding day, while adding personal anecdotes of the individuals involved. And, as you’ll see, this reporter took it upon herself to sing the vows of both my wife and I on our wedding day.

It was super hot in July 2017, so when my then fiancée and I both got to the venue at the same time, it was just me and her. After we met our pastor, the moment of truth arrived.

I picked up the microphone and sang “Praise the Lord” by Tawuro Zundegi. She picked up the mic and sang an equally beautiful rendition of Whitney Houston’s “One Moment in Time.”

I think I did pretty well. Apparently, she did too. We were joined by our pastor for the ceremony and we both gave our vows and wed.

Loveawake has a lot of stories. How they sneak into someone’s house to meet their spouse and what a welcome they received. What happens after the wedding is always interesting. There is even a selfie booth.

There is a comment section that can be found when you’re reading the blog or look at the archives. And, if you want to sound off, you can ask questions about what you see.

It is always very interesting to hear what the people had to say on the day of their wedding.

Check out the bridal shower and honeymoon video that I recorded on their wedding day. It shows some beautiful women, some rather nice men and a lot of passion.

Click on the links to listen to the recitals and get more comments about what was going on during the magic of wedding day.

Categories
Stories

Do You Follow the Dos and Don’ts of Email, Text and Phone?

Email, Text and Phone are all means of communication in relationships, and communication is a basic requirement for a healthy, satisfying relationship. Anytime and anywhere, there is a need for communication in a relationship. Although there is always a need for communication, it is critical to know how to communicate well with your partner. If you do not communicate properly with your partner, then your relationship will definitely suffer.

How to Follow the Dos and Don’ts of Email, Text and Phone

Here are the Dos and Don’ts of Email, Text and Phone in relationships:

Do: Send messages as early as possible

We have all heard the expression “the earlier, the better”. If you are not busy sending messages, you will notice how valuable these messages are, from day one. The best way to do this is to send messages as early as possible. You want to keep in touch with the person who deserves your presence.

Use a specific email address for the relationship

Although you might not need to use the same address for all your conversations, you do need to take care and remember which one to keep for the relationship. It’s easy to lose your way and forget to include any of your contacts in your message or deliver any of your messages. This only makes it more confusing for the person you’re communicating with, and increases chances that you’ll miss out on an important aspect.

Keep your message short

Please remember to keep it short. No one wants to waste time by taking long messages. Reply-to-all is not good. Write a simple message to keep the conversation flowing between the two of you.

Do: Resolve any problems if one-on-one conversations fail

In case one-on-one conversations fail and things continue to go wrong, you should always take up the issue with your partner in a phone conversation. This way, you can also resolve the issue. If you are having a problem, you should always have a discussion about it with your partner.

Don’t: Keep all issues in a text message

Sometimes, you will find yourself confused while communicating with your partner. This is because you do not yet know the gist of the issue that you are discussing. Sometimes, a text message may not be the best way to settle your matter. Though it will work, never forget to bring it up in a phone conversation.

Do: Not send messages when you know that your partner will find them hurtful

Do not do this because you feel that your partner may not like the contents of your message. For example, if you know that your partner might find your message hurtful, don’t send it. This way, you will be making things worse. Tell him or her that you’ve thought of it and plan to communicate in a different way.

Do: Take note of words and phrases

Don’t miss out on this one. Things don’t just appear. You’ll never know how the words that you use are affecting your relationship until you read your partner’s responses to your messages.

Do: Ask questions to try and solve the issue

It will always be very important to ask questions when communicating with your partner. Questions will help you understand the problem and understand the outcome. Tell your partner that you’re not sure how to resolve the issue. This will make him or her feel listened to.

Do: Don’t use personal contact number

Don’t use your personal contact number for your messages. If you do this, then your partner may think you’re sending messages to the family or friends instead of your partner.

Do: Include a photo or video

Share your story, share your photos, you can also tell your story using a video if you wish. Being authentic will go a long way.

Do: Keep the messages a secret

It is always better to be completely open with the person you’re communicating with. You’ll be surprised at how helpful and useful the message can be if you are not open.

Do: Tell your partner the true reason why you’re missing each other

It is never a good idea to hide the reason you are missing your partner. Remember, people have different reasons why they decide to move on from a relationship. It is better to tell your partner the reason why you’re thinking of leaving your relationship. Don’t hide any reason when communicating with your partner.

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Categories
Stories

Love Awake Podcast: Akiva Goldsman at The CW

Just one week before becoming CEO of The CW, Akiva Goldsman had the temerity to compare the then broadcast television world to the phone book.

“Most shows air on broadcast television,” he said. “Yes, you can put a show on VOD, but only if you’re extraordinarily creative, in which case it’s on pay-per-view. If you’re just a programmer, it’s on broadcast television. I’m not saying it’s worse, but it’s a very different way of doing business.”

Goldsman, of course, left ABC in 2005, ushering in a new era of serialized storytelling on linear and streaming platforms.

It’s this kind of mindlessness that motivates his new job, he recently told Vulture, and rightly so.

“Given the television world that we’re in right now, the one paradox that drives me on a daily basis is the desire to be part of creating content,” he said. “People want me to take a job that exists in another dimension, something like iZombie, where someone can pick up the phone and call me any day of the week and say, ‘How can I help?’ — because we exist in this room, and we’re making [that show] for other people and we want to make great things for people. And part of what I want to do as CEO of The CW is try to channel that desire to be a part of making great, interesting, thrilling television that we’re really passionate about.”

See, buzzwords!

Now if only writers knew what to do when they got into Goldsman’s head…

Find last week’s episode here.

Follow Love Awake on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Love_Awake

Like Love Awake on Facebook: www.facebook.com/LoveAwake_TV

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/wat…]

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/wat…]

Categories
Stories

From The Archive | 1997 | A Month in The World

SEPTEMBER

ROSELLE PARK PARK: 92-year-old Joyce Zawyski, of Roselle Park, is known for her beautiful garden along Bower Avenue and her friendship with almost everyone she meets in the neighborhood. She spends her retirement listening to the music of The Gershwins in her backyard while watching a basketball game on a TV that is stolen from an ex-boyfriend (who now lives in Vermont). Her warm, loving and gentle demeanor (she is a grandmother, great-grandmother and great-great-grandmother and lives alone) has earned her the respect of many neighbors and passersby who regularly stop to share a bit of perspective on the day’s events. After a few years, she began corresponding with Mr. Zawyski’s one-time boyfriend (now married with children) in Vermont.

TRAVERSE CITY, MI: Clare Dozer was born in 1913, came of age in the Great Depression, was a woman in a glass shoe, became an executive for a major railroad and lived an admirable life.

It wasn’t until recently, however, that the poem she wrote with her close friend, Donald J. Schauble, of Traverse City, Mich., finally found its way to the Internet. This search led to an April 8, 1993 article in the Traverse City Record-Eagle titled “Poet’s Petite Lament: National Wife Swap is For The Many, Not The Few,” which enlightened one of the world’s most famous and admired poets, Jimmy Carter, on his own attitudes toward his marriage to Rosalynn Carter, both before and after her second birth.

The poem was selected by Secretary of Education William Bennett (then chair of the President’s Commission on Educational Excellence) and made it to National Speech and Debate Camps in 2001 and 2002.

CEDAR GLEN, N.Y.: Speaking at a 1991 dedication of a county building designed to be “elegant, welcoming and harmonious,” then-County Executive Robert McCormick referred to New York’s other main thoroughfare, Atlantic Avenue, where traffic “swoops from 60 feet into the air” and becomes a “jetliner” crossing the two lanes.

Meadows Christian School in Cedar Glen has been named the 23rd-ranked school in New York State by The Audubon Society’s annual wildlife survey, with students placing tops in student leadership and diversity for its fall 2005-2006 school year. Meadows Elementary School was also ranked eighth in New York and was only the fourth Harlem school in the past 14 years to earn a first-place ranking.

NOVEMBER

GRAND ISLAND, N.Y.: Amherst Police Chief J.P. Giglio didn’t mince words when he said “discounting the Rock-Y-Boys” wasn’t an acceptable explanation for the repeated thefts of a young employee’s car after she left it running unattended with its keys in it inside a restaurant parking lot where they worked.

CHINA: Former Gov. Eliot Spitzer admitted that he had patronized a high-priced prostitute, formally known as a prostitute, and repaid her hundreds of thousands of dollars. He also declared there was no sexual relationship, something that had not been made public before.

SPANISH FORK, UT: Fourteen people were hospitalized after ingesting a diet product containing monosodium glutamate (MSG) and ketones, which caused confusion and vomiting. The incident was due to a faulty batch of Select Medical’s Golden Kettle Slim-Slim Minimizing Whey Protein Breastmilk Pop Pops.

Categories
Stories

New website helps singles thrive, Hodgepodge Dating

Are you out there, seeking love? Would you like to find it. Some of the best and smartest female speakers are openly sharing information and suggestions for dating effectively in this post: Hodgepodge Dating!

Hodgepodge Dating is a website and training course developed to help individuals learn how to successfully find a quality romantic relationship. The special focus is on helping men and women communicate effectively, stay connected, express themselves more effectively, have more fulfilling and successful experiences of dating in a non-judgmental environment, and become more self-confident. Each participant will receive a written curriculum based on the core value of self-confidence, as well as training and support for their lasting, authentic relationship journey.

Hodgepodge Dating will engage participants in a dynamic process intended to build the fullness of their personality as well as strengthen their social skills and communicate effectively as a couple. Participants will take an intensive eight-week online course with audio recorded sessions. A personal Coach with extensive experience in relationship coaching will be available to counsel during the online course.

The online course will be structured for men and women of all ages and experiences. Participants will learn to be more resourceful and be more imaginative in their communication and dating strategies. They will also learn how to be more assertive, calm, successful, compatible and supportive in dating. Hodgepodge Dating

Categories
Stories

Getting PENCILS AND PAPER BACK IN THE FORK? TRY THESE 3 TIPS

I’m a pen and paper writer who works mostly in my head. We’ve changed so much over the years that I find it nearly impossible to remember how I got into this practice. But I can’t really complain, as it’s a pretty great one.

I used to do it for a long time, and today I’ve reverted back. About 50% of my writing is mind a blank page. I find it helpful to bring my ideas to paper.

I couldn’t compete with Steve in terms of writing a lickable hook to a URL, but if I could I’d be writing a couple times a day, not twice a week. (Unless you’re a Tweet-For-Autism porn star, in which case you should DO IT.)

Writing a header and a mini bio is pretty straightforward. As is nailing down the first 30 words. On your site and on the About page, clarify what the content is that you want people to find interesting about you (while trying to remain as unknown to people as possible) and what you want them to do when they encounter your site.

Want them to arrive at your site via a (tailored) banner or sponsored tweets? Need them to subscribe to your newsletter? Want them to click through and read your blog? Whatever the case may be, define it in as precise a way as possible. An easy way to do this on your About page is by using this powerpoint template and some formatting choices that you can easily tweak to your liking.

(Well-designed and simple About pages are also the way to go if you want to focus on a more intimate aspect of yourself. If you don’t have time to come up with your profile in a simple but effective way, just assume that some potential love-seekers will have difficulty finding you or understand you. Adapt your About page to their need. Then think laterally if you have any specific queries for your Like Fans.)

They also teach you how to fill out a couple of questions on About, but you’ll have to be creative in your answers. Merely repeating your LinkedIn name and following the instructions seems to be the best approach, as it will create your About page as a set of standards. You can create your own, if you want.

2. Turn Your Inbox Into a Short, But Sexy Timeline

Creating and editing an About page is a particularly handy skill for people who are full time technologists. Some love-seeking people do their research and jump ahead in their love life by getting on dating sites based on their activity and interests. If you’re not on any, try to highlight the aspects of your interests that you can’t filter out on other sites. Do you enjoy cooking? Travel? Podcasting? Love gardening? Maybe you’re just a reader. Even if you don’t have a blog, you can create your own About page and highlight things you’re good at.

An attractive feature of the current Dating Site Galaxy (at least for men) is the ability to upload a portfolio of shots. How many flattering photos do you have of yourself? Browse Instagram and see what other people are doing to sell themselves. Now try your hand at it.

(Thanks, Google for creating a market for this particular feature!)

If it just seems weird to go through a collection of selfies, imagine the possibilities. If you’re eager to have a profile that no one’s ever seen before, you can customize what your About page looks like by adding an image or two that you find most striking. Pulling up the little-used Import Image tool for your camera rolls can be a little tricky, but it shouldn’t be beyond the grasp of most tech professionals. You can always use Photoshop or whatever your favorite photo editor is, but you might want to save your best shots for later.

Once you’ve wrapped up the About page, create the Like Fans list. This is an easy way to set up a relationship with people interested in following your new hobbies, your passions, your hobbies in general. A few basic like fans lists may sound cumbersome, but not if you want to set up your own brands around a particular hashtag or call your fans.

(Note: As you might expect, there are some different ways to set up your like-for-a-reason lists. You can set up a specific hashtag or something called your Invitation List, for example.)

Like this: Like Loading…

Categories
Stories

Where to meet your soul mate on the internet

An online dating service that allows you to explore and explore as many as 50 different dating websites…

Have you met your soul mate online?

That’s true for some. Sometimes you get lost and it turns out to be one of those connections when you know exactly who you’re looking for and when to take it up.

Is it possible to find someone with similar interests and tastes — with a bit of helping from apps like Tinder?

Personally, I’m okay with having a few dates in person to see how they go before calling a “bounce”. I wouldn’t expect to find my soul mate on Tinder, but if you’re that type of person…

Match, Bumble, Happn, eHarmony, and OkCupid all provide great dating platforms. They have different uses. Match is for casual dates. Bumble is for one-night stands. Happn will let you discover where your fellow members live, and eHarmony and OkCupid make it easier to meet new people.

All dating services provide something you can’t get offline. Plenty of Fish (POF) with which I frequently read gives you instant messaging capabilities. OkCupid, Bumble, and Happn combine singles social networking with location, and eHarmony gives you compatibility screening.

But I’m here to tell you some dating websites do a better job than the others. You might be surprised by how many other divorced people have met new partners online, too.

My favorite dating websites are…

1. eHarmony

2. Match

3. Bumble

4. Happn

5. eHarmony

6. Bumble

7. OkCupid

8. eHarmony

Categories
Stories

Saturday jobs: Thinking creatively with jobless singles

If you have this last job description applied to you, you’re a thoughtful match.

Last week, hourly jobs at Fox Searchlight began drying up as well as the unemployment rolls, which numbered 1.6 million people, the government said. That’s an increase of nearly 70,000 jobs lost in July, tying the worst monthly loss in the past decade.

Jobless this group includes actors, television writers, stage actors, actresses, documentary filmmakers, editors, business developers, script supervisors, administrative assistants, and even high school and college graduates, according to Hollywood.com.

Mecca of bad dates

So what are the dating implications of the job crisis?

They’re all over the Internet, so don’t neglect to check out the best matches of potential future lovemakers. Ask your crush how he or she stacks up against the unemployed. You could give them some tough love if you have nothing better to do with your time and you want them to “think with their careers.”

Personal finance

Last week the governor sent a gubernatorial task force over to see if New York employers need any additional help to come back from the recession.

Two things I think are important to remember here: One, the unemployment rate last month dropped from a 10.2 percent high to 9.9 percent. Two, we all know jobs are going to come back, especially in the arts as our economy revives. Right now, I would say it is going to take a while but it will happen.

Health

How about New York hospitals? They seem to be doing quite well these days, unlike New Jersey which is in the throes of a major shakeup of hospitals, I learned from Saving Jersey Hospital.

Many of the West Hudson areas hospital received millions in federal stimulus money to improve their facilities. Now how long will this “surge hiring” last? Possibly not very long but they have learned from past mistakes. They’ve grown leaner and better organized, become even smarter and managed their health-care dollars better, I think.