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Should I date a man with diabetes?

Dear readers,

With September approaching, many are wondering if they should attend yoga classes to lose weight. Personally, I do not do yoga to lose weight because I do not like the program and because I do not need to lose the weight. If there were no yoga classes I would attend, but the classes will not help me lose weight.

I recently asked a Yoga student if he liked yoga and, as a surprise, he asked me if I had an extra weight. When I said I had a little extra weight he asked if I was pregnant and when I said I was not pregnant, he asked, “Then what do you have?” I said, “Haven’t you been fat forever? Are you having an extra baby? I have to have an extra baby just like you?”

I was just a little annoyed because he was concerned and asked me if I was pregnant because I didn’t fit into his pants. After thinking about it, I laughed it off and said, “If you don’t want your pants checked and you don’t want to have kids at this point, then stop being mean.”

For now, he is threatening to go to the gym and I have said no. But I am also starting to think seriously about my dating life since he asked about my weight. If he asks me for a date, I will tell him the truth but try to stay sweet and polite, and if I want to take him to the gym, then I will do that. I really have no idea how to date and dating someone with extra weight is not going to help me do that.

So for now, I will be continuing to focus on my training for two major kickboxing events which will be happening this fall and next spring.

Love,

Alyssa

Answering The Door

Dear Alyssa,

Here is my response to your letter:

Alyssa, I appreciate the sensitivity that you showed your student and the way you explained your situation. Just because we do not have personal experiences with health issues does not mean we should not consider their concerns when it comes to dating someone with a medical condition. That being said, do you think that a man with diabetes would be welcome in your home, or a man who is stressed out with high blood pressure? If you would have said this in a more serious setting, maybe he would have understood your situation more and would have been more kind to you.

This may sound trivial to some but there is a great deal of sensitivity involved when it comes to dating. At a minimum it is important that you tell him how you are feeling. Most men like to figure out what it is you want to accomplish in your relationship when you are with them. With that being said, the best way to let him know how you feel is to be honest.

If you would like to keep this conversation going, drop by the Pets and Weird News page of the Chicago Tribune website

Love,

Ann

Love Awake

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